Pasta Disaster-- Don't Try This at Home!

So today was pretty much my worst housewife moment thus far. It was such a comedy of errors that I felt like I was in an I Love Lucy episode. I was expecting a giant loaf of bread to come busting out of the oven at any moment.

I had some BBB gift cards left over from the wedding, so among other things I bought a nifty little pasta maker attachment for my Kitchenaid stand mixer. Since I had the day off today, I thought it would be a good day to try it. I was intrigued by this recipe for "almost vegan alfredo" that I saw on Salty Girl Cooks, my favorite vegetarian food blog. Why not give it a go?

I had picked up some whole wheat pasta flour from Ecco La Pasta at Hill's Kitchen. I never made homemade pasta before, so I didn't know quite what to expect. I followed the directions, but it didn't seem right. It was sort of dense and sticky. But, I figured, maybe that's how it was supposed to be?

So I put it in the stand mixer. It's sort of working. The pasta comes out, but it all sticks together. Then... the motor stops running. It's stuck. I clean it but it still doesn't turn on. I've killed my mixer!

In the mean time, I am boiling the homemade pasta that did get made. I forget about it. It turns into a big, soggly, goopily mess. Could anything get worse?

Oh yes.

The sauce calls for a mixture of cream cheese, tofu, mushrooms, and garlic. I heat up a pan to cook the mushrooms and garlic. Too hurriedly, I grab a jar of chopped garlic out of the fridge, and....

... it smashes all over the floor.

So, no garlic. I make what's left of the rest of the sauce, taste it, and it's... blah. I mean, it's mostly tofu. If there's nothing in there, it's gonna taste like... nothing.

I ended up cooking up some whole wheat spaghetti (NOT homemade), tossed it with the sauce, and added a bunch of salt, pepper, Italian seasoning, and parmesan cheese (which kind of defeats the purpose of a "healthy" alfredo, but whatevs... I was improvising at this point).

You know, it came out... okay. Gary said he liked it. I thought he was just being kind, but then he went back for seconds, so who knows?

Here's the finished product:

So, I can't necessarily recommend the recipe, but I might try it again. It was definitely filling, I'll give it that. With some garlic and more seasoning, it might not be half bad.

And now my kitchen reeks of garlic, and I can't even eat any! How sad.

PS-- if anyone knows how to fix my$300 mixer I'm all ears.